Promo video + screenshots from Google Play.
A point-and-click Renaissance masterpiece
Pilfer from pirates, conspire with cardinals and perform miracles with an incompetent magician. The Procession to Calvary is a Pythonesque adventure game made from Renaissance paintings, and a spiritual successor to the critically acclaimed Four Last Things. Huzzah! The holy war is over! Your oppressors have been vanquished, the churches of the Old God lay in ruin and thousands of innocent people have been murdered! But it's not all good news; the tyrant Heavenly Peter has escaped your clutches, and you have been tasked with the mission of finding him... Your journey will take you through a richly detailed landscape built from hundreds of different Renaissance paintings. You will steal a ship, feed a donkey, compete in a talent contest, assist an inept street magician, sing, dance, play the (magic?) flute, poke a man's face, hunt for treasure and have a chat with Our Lord God Almighty... But will you find Heavenly Peter? And if you do, how will you take your revenge!? Features: Pointing and Clicking – A traditional point and click interface, with a 'verb coin' interaction menu and a simple inventory from which you can drag and drop your preciously hoarded items. Renaissance Artwork – Paintings by Rembrandt, Botticelli, Michelangelo and many more are brought together into one consistent world, in a way that is also as sympathetic as possible to the original works. Classical Music – a soundtrack selected to fit with the style of the artwork. Music from classical composers such as Vivaldi, Bach and George Frideric Handel will accompany you on your journey. Standalone Story - The Procession to Calvary is set in the same world as Four Last Things, but it's story can be played independently. Optional Murder – You will be equipped with a sword. This will become useful in a number of different situation, but you will be strongly discouraged from using it on people. Ignoring this advice - and murdering anyone who stands in your way – will serve as a useful method of skipping any puzzles you don't like. But be warned; your actions might come back to haunt you... Nonsense – Surreal, anarchic comedy. Lofty subject matter is treated with refreshing flippancy. Gags about butts are taken very seriously. But rest assured, while some of the jokes may be ridiculous, the puzzles make perfect sense! (or at least adhere to a consistent internal logic) Moments of Surprising Profundity – Actually, no... Don't read too much into it.
Biggest opportunities: rating volume.
Heuristic score · not affiliated with Apple or Google.
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Last bump 56d ago.
Signals: version bump ≤ 7 days + review velocity ≥ 1.5× the 7-day median. Both ⇒ Active event; version only ⇒ Recent update; spike only ⇒ High engagement.
Versions observed by AppWolf's store pollers · newest first · up to 50 shown. History begins when an app enters our catalog - earlier versions aren't retroactively visible.
20 of 20 loaded reviews
Awesome wacky game that's challenging at times
- Wake The Israelites · v0.1
I agree with other reviews saying it's too short the price but I didn't subtract any stars bc this game was hilariously written and the usage of medieval art for the graphics was an awesome idea. I really enjoyed this game.
- Amber Kipp · v0.1
Stopped working. Loading would just get stuck on a black background. Wish I could get a refund.
- Nish Doshi
Can't believe I paid £4 for this nonsense!
- Carolie Field · v0.1
Not an average game I must admit, but really fun to play, loved the artwork and the hilarious dialogs.
- Eßau Rdz · v0.1
Monty python and monkey Island merge. Just buy it if you like those things. You don't need to ask any more questions, it's only a couple of quid anyway, and you'll have a laugh.
- raul miranda · v0.1
Absolutely delightful little point and click adventure with a lot of style and humour!
- Michael Papadopoulos · v0.1
No sound. Game was fun even without sound, but classical music was one of the selling points. Would give higher rating if the sound issue is fixed.
- JUSTIN GIFFORD · v0.1
Sorry, the conversations might be amusing, but I got bored of doing that for 20 minutes and not actually having a puzzle to solve.
- Michal Front · v0.1
I've been trying to get crutches for about an hour now from that dude but can't figure it out. I may have to use the Google machine for some help.. well.. good first 10 minutes of the game so far!
- Rebecca Martin · v0.1
This. Game. Is. Genius! Buy it, now! If you love irreverent humor, dumb jokes, slapstick comedy and good old fashioned point and click adventure with the added fun of a sword you can use on people, you will love this game. Clearly inspired by Terry Gilliam's famous cartoon work in Monty Python in the best possible way. I love this game.
- Claire Simpson · v0.1
Hilarious and beautiful. Silly puzzles, fun to play. I want more please
- Slarty B · v0.1
Art, music and humour come together in a masterpiece. It will draw a smile on you. The only drawback is it's always too short and there are never enough sequels. Couldn't think of a better way of promoting culture in times like these.
- Rafael Neville · v0.1
So unique, so well done, bloody good game. Literally.
- No Fear · v0.1
Played the first game and had to play this one! Love these games. Giggles and gore galore!
- Sara Brown · v0.1
Won't even start when i select new game
- Victor Delcol · v0.1
Another brilliant, addictive game! Can't wait for more. Please, let there be more!
- Brandy Elizabeth · v0.1
The environment and humour are excellent. The idea is also every clever, and the interactions are witty and entertaining. I thoroughly enjoyed the game, and only have a couple of criticisms. The game is a bit short, for the price. Also, the routes out of certain scenes are not always very obvious and a couple of times I thought I was stuck until I happened to randomly tap somewhere that made the game continue. Otherwise, a fantastic game that I really enjoyed.
- Stuart Wilson · v0.1
Great good ole fashion point and click game, not like the endless escape games that call their selves point and click. Very funny too. Only thing I can think of to do better would be a way to automatically go between areas without having to constantly walk back and forth.
- karl norman
Insane. Like walking through one of Terry Gilliam's Monty Python animations, in a nice way! Great sense of humor and love the mash up of classic art
- Peter McDonald · v0.1
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